


Aftermath

by KingTyrell



Category: King Falls AM (Podcast)
Genre: After the Episode, Discussions of Suicide, Gen, spoilers for episode 75
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-19
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:13:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24261877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KingTyrell/pseuds/KingTyrell
Summary: It is really only after the radio station goes up in flames, that Ben has time to process what just happened.
Relationships: Ben Arnold & Sammy Stevens, Ben Arnold/Emily Potter
Comments: 6
Kudos: 44





	Aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> This episode kept swirling around in my head, so I wrote this to help me process it.

It is really only after the radio station goes up in flames, and the call is cut off, and almost everyone else has fled the auditorium, that Ben has time to process what just happened. It sends him reeling, gasping for air, and clutching for Emily who immediately pulls him into her wonderful arms.  
"He was going to.... Sammy tried to," he gasps  
"Yes," Emily says, and the fact that she's not crying makes him realise he is  
"Sammy tried to kill himself," and saying it aloud immediately brings back the panic and despair from moments before.  
Anger is easier than grief, so Ben chooses that.  
"How could he? How could he do that to us? To me? What the fuck was he thinking!?"  
Emily just holds him through it  
"That fucking asshole! And Perdition Wood of all places! He has no idea what he's messing with, and doesn't know how I would feel, what it would do to me? What the fuck was he thinking that total fucking idiot!?"  
But the rage can only hold him so long and soon he is sobbing incoherently into Emily's shoulder, and she is holding him gently and crying as well.  
After an indeterminate amount of time, Ben stumbles away from Emily and towards the door "I've got to find him," he says horsely, "I've to make sure he doesn't try anything else".

Ben fumbles for his phone and blearily finds Sammy's number. When it rings out to voicemail, the panic in him spikes, and he heads towards the parking lot with renewed fervour. Ben is heading towards his car trying to call Sammy again when he sees him. Sammy is sitting in his blue Prius on the other side of the parking lot. The driver-side door is open and Sammy is sitting facing him but not looking at him. Ben marches towards him, rage rekindled, ready to shout at him, but he stops a few feet away and the flame extinguishes instantly. There are new scratches and dents all over Sammy's car, and Sammy himself doesn't look any better. He is dirty and disheveled in a way Ben's never seen him before: covered in scratches and broken-off twigs. His hair, usually artfully messy in a way that Ben knows takes much longer to do than Sammy would ever admit, is a true mess - straggly and hanging limply around his face. Sammy is hunched over staring at his hands in his lap looking like he wishes he could curl up and disappear. But Ben's had enough of him trying to disappear tonight and he grabs him and pulls him into a tight hug. Sammy gasps, startled, but after a few seconds, carefully reciprocates the hug. Ben can feel the shake of Sammy's shoulders as he cries and it mirrors his own sobs.  
At some point, Sammy starts apologising, just frantic murmurs of "I'm sorry, Ben. I'm so sorry," and it makes Ben pull him tighter and cry anew.  
Eventually, when Ben feels like he can speak again, he tells Sammy in a tone that he hopes allows for no argument the he will be staying at Ben's apartment tonight. The relief that washes over Ben when Sammy just nods numbly is unlike anything he's ever felt before. The whole way home, Ben keeps one eye in the review mirror to make sure Sammy is still behind him. 

It doesn't take long to get Sammy set up in the spare room, but even after Sammy's gone to bed, Ben still can't settle. He waits for the exhaustion from the day to hit him but is left feeling wired and anxious and spends hours trading nervous texts with Emily and Troy. Finally, unable to bear it any more, he cracks the door to Sammy's room and peers in. Ben watches Sammy just long enough to see his chest rise and fall, and then sneaks away. He leaves the door unlatched.  
The fourth time Ben does this, Sammy shifts in bed and without sitting up says "I'm not going to," a pause, a deep breath "try anything else," but if you're going to be checking on me all night, you might as well come in".  
Ben does so without hesitation. He doesn't keep a chair in the spare room, so he sits on the floor next to the bed.  
"Can't sleep?" Sammy asks in a tone that Ben thinks is meant to be wry, but just sounds tired.  
Ben shakes his head, then realising Sammy probably can't see him says "No, you?"  
"No," Sammy says and then silence stretches out for long minutes.  
Ben struggles to find words that don't sound accusatory, and eventually settles on  
"If you had, if it had worked, how was I supposed to find out?"  
"You weren't," Sammy says immediately, and then after a pause "I had hoped... I had hoped you would assume that I had cut ties and just wanted nothing to do with this place or anyone here. I didn't feel good about that, but it felt better than the alternative".  
"So you didn't leave a note?" Ben asks hesitantly  
"No. I hid my car in Perdition wood and hoped that I would just vanish. I would just be another mystery in this weird little town" and Ben can hear the resignation in his voice.  
"You must know I would have looked for you!" Ben says and the loudness of his voice betrays the quiet hush of the room  
"I had hoped you wouldn't" Sammy says quietly.  
"I would have," says Ben, and as jarring at the loudness is, he can't seem to lower his voice "I would have gone to then ends of the earth looking for you. And when I found out what had happened, what you had done, it would have destroyed me".  
Sammy takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly "I know".  
Ben's holding back tears again now "You can't do this again. You have to stay here. We'll find Jack, we'll do whatever it takes, anything, but you have to stay here. With me".  
Sammy slowly reaches out a hand, and Ben takes it and holds it tightly.  
"You're my brother, man. I love you." Ben says.  
"Thank you, Ben". Sammy whispers.  
And sitting there, holding Sammy's hand, Ben finally drifts off to sleep.


End file.
